hell yes lets make some ravioli
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you had me at cake vodka
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
