She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you never un-have a 4some
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
