You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
