The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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