too bad you live with your parents still
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
