Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
