it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
