at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
