i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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