Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize