It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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