Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
