i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
