Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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