Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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