is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
