; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize