i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm always down for nudity.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
