p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
