I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
These tits shall not be calmed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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