just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
