the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
