I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
