No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
where does the pee come out of this thing
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Come on in and take your pants off
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
