im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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