She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
