why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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