we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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