Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Boobs are out for the taking
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
