if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
