please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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