Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
