R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
