I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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