he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
