they need to just BURY HIM!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
