the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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