he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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