let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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