Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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