My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
