Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
