i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
