my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
