Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
