Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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