a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize