Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
