Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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