You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
