Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
