That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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