I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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