I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Randomize
