you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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