Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
