So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
