I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
