If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
smell my finger.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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